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  • Writer's pictureErin White

Big Faith

Oh what a difference a year makes. One year ago today we found out we were expecting our rainbow baby. After going through a 14 week long miscarriage journey we were so thrilled to see that one little word, “pregnant”. It was so special to capture this photo with the ornament honoring our angel baby in the background. I’ve never really told the story on how things worked out for us to end 2020 so I thought what a better time than now!

We had waited 14 long weeks before we got the all-clear to start trying again after miscarrying in May of 2020. During those 14 weeks we had decided that this time we were going to do some things differently. When we had gotten pregnant the first time we were still living in our townhouse with no real plan/idea on when we would be able to afford to buy a house and Zach was still working for a private practice clinic that had long hours and a lot of at home paperwork. So, we decided that before we got pregnant again we would seriously start looking for a house to bring our baby home to and Zach would try to find a job with a little more flexibility and less demand overall.

We prayed every day for God’s guidance on all 3 of these things we wanted: a baby, a new house, and a new job for Zach. Now it might seem ridiculous to pray for some of these things, but it was all very important to us and having God to lead us in the right direction was all we could do. Zach took several interviews and although it would have gotten him out of his current situation, none of them were the perfect fit so we kept looking. The first step to buying a house is getting approved for a loan, so we got approved for a home loan and started looking at houses but never really fell in love with one. So we kept searching.

One day in October Mercy Therapy listed a PRN job opening. Zach wasn’t sure about it as we really needed something full time for insurance and financial purposes but we both agreed that he should go ahead and apply anyways. He had his interview and they loved him (who doesn’t?!), but there was the problem of the PRN status for us. So, we prayed on it and asked God to guide us in the right direction. Mercy told Zach that the PRN status would only be temporary until they could justify hiring him full time (they were hoping by January). After numerous discussions and prayers, we decided to take the leap and trust that God gave Zach this opportunity for a reason and that we shouldn’t miss it. So, he took the job and started on November 9th. We had expected him to be PRN until January, so we had to find insurance off the marketplace as ours ran out on 11/30 and figure out finances etc. We prayed that they would be able to classify him as full time before the 30th so we wouldn’t have a lapse in insurance since we were trying to get pregnant and didn’t want to have to pause. Two weeks into him working there and they were able to give him full-time status! We had no lapse in insurance coverage, and there was answered prayer #1!

Another thing we wanted to do before having a baby was to get out of our townhouse. Once we got approved for a home loan, we found a relator through Dave Ramsey and met with her to discuss our wants/needs and started looking at houses. We are both particular in our style, very clean and minimalistic and with the market down here being what it is we weren’t finding anything we loved. There happened to be a newer neighborhood being developed in the town we ideally wanted to live in, so we had our relator set us up a tour just to see pricing and options. It was a little over our initial budget point, but we thought we would just go look. We went and took a tour and looked at pricing options on December 10th and was informed that there was only one lot left and if we were serious, we would need to put down our deposit by the next day (no pressure)! We went home, crunched some numbers, and talked over our options. After talking all night, we decided we wanted to go ahead and put in our deposit and sign papers. I called our relator and she said it was down to us and another couple and it was all about who could get their stuff in faster, so I busted it and got everything in ASAP. On December 11th around 3:00 I got the call that we were approved and accepted to build our dream house!! I couldn’t believe that we were going to be able to custom build our first home and in the exact location we dreamed of living in. Answered prayer #2!

As I mentioned before, with Zach’s new job came new insurance. Mercy has a plan that you can only use Mercy docs but the premiums are significantly cheaper than any other option. But that meant I would have to change OBGYN’s. I was terrified. I had spent the last 5 years with my OB and she was with me every day of my 14-week miscarriage. But I knew I had to make the change for our family. So, I picked an OB and made an initial patient visit. I wasn’t going to be able to get in until February 4th, 2021 with this new OB and I was devastated. I knew deep in my soul that my progesterone levels were too low for me to be able to sustain a healthy pregnancy, so I wanted to get in ASAP. I checked the website every day, often several times a day for earlier appointments and was able to get in on December 22nd. I was ecstatic to meet my new OB and get his opinion on my situation. We discussed everything and he agreed that I should start a progesterone supplement, so I started one that day. I was super hopeful that maybe next cycle would be the one with this little extra help! When taking progesterone, you start taking it the day after ovulation and continue until you either get your period or have a negative pregnancy test so I took the medication and waited until it was about time for me to start my period.

Since you have to either get your period or have a negative pregnancy test before stopping progesterone, I took a test really early in my cycle just to see what I needed to do. On December 28th, two days before I was scheduled to start, I took my test. I was SHOCKED when I saw the word pregnant flash on the digital screen and rushed into the bedroom to show Zach. We couldn’t believe it! After our 14-week long miscarriage and the numerous months after of not knowing if my body was doing the right things, we got our 3rd answered prayer in a matter of months.

As I look back on all the amazing things God blessed us with (and continues to) I can’t help but think of all of the battles we went through to get there. If we would have given up during those battles, then we would have missed the plan that God had for us. If we would have lost faith during our battle of miscarriage, job frustration, and house hunting we would have surely missed the blessing of our rainbow baby, Zach’s new job, and building our dream house.

The book of Joshua references several battles, battles that appear like certain defeat. But with each one God provides an amazing battle plan and all they had to do was step into the victory set before them. The battles we faced seemed impossible to us, but not to God. He made a way through everything for us, and at the time it didn’t make sense to us why it was taking so long to get through our miscarriage and get pregnant again. But God was showing us that Zach needed to get his new job first. He was showing us that I needed to get a second opinion about my cycles. He was showing us that we would be able to bring our sweet baby into this world into a HOME not apartment. It didn’t make sense, but God wasn’t asking us to understand it. He was asking us to keep the faith and show up for His battle plan.

Just as God gave victory to Joshua, He gave victory to us. Victory over the battles we were facing. He made a way for us when it seemed like there was no way. All He asked of us was to continue to march in faith. March when we’re tired of marching.

God led us to our victory and all we had to do was march little by little every day. Sometimes you just have to have big faith that our God is moving big mountains for you.



Hi, thanks for stopping by!

I am a wife to my amazing husband Zach and a momma to an angel baby and now a beautiful baby boy. I am an anxiety warrior, a follower of Christ, and a devoted wife, mother, daughter, friend, and sister.

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